he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
