it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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