We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
