I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
50% drunk capacity currently
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
