Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
