Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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