U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
