Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
