she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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