alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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