what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
