Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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