I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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