Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
