Will you blow on my dice?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
