Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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