I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
