carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
