Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There's always time for handjobs
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize