So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
