Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so let's talk penis.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
