looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
