why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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