tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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