It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
