Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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