She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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