I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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