I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
