You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
