HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
