I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
