do herpes really smell.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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