just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
