What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
