my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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