Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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