I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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