i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
