I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize