I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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