whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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