So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize