I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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