Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I supernannyed him into submission
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
