IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
