A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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