i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
