ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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