NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
