actually, I'm a sock model
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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