thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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