How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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