What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
