You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
