a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize