We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize