i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Randomize
