Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
