Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
